How I Wrecked The New Car

Book club was last night and I got a group message text from the host:


Careful driving. Second turn going up is slippery, you should do fine if you go slowwwww. See you all soon. I can come get you at the park and ride, Michal.

I read it to Aaron.

"Do you think I should take her up on that?"

"No," he laughed, "You can drive yourself. Do they know you wrecked the new car?" he laughed more.

"No..."

"Does Caren?"


"Oh yeah, she knew before you did."

"Oh I can't wait to tell them all," he chortled.

"I will tell them..."

So here is how I wrecked the car:

A few weeks ago Aaron bought me a new car with all wheel drive.  My other car couldn't make it up our drive way if there was the slightest bit of snow on it. 

After bringing the new car home, I wanted to take it for a spin and set out for a grocery run.

"Be careful..."  Aaron said looking down on me.

"I will!"  I answered indignantly.

But he had reason to warn me.  I have a track record of blowing a tire or backing into a tree, or side swiping the mirror every time we get a new car.

My run to the store went with out incident; as did all other excursions in the car for the past few weeks.  Until Monday.

Monday morning I went outside and remeasured the snow.  Over the past few days we had accumulated 19.5 inches!  There was still 13 remaining on the ground.  I called around to see if school was closed.

All systems were a-go.

Stupid Mountain People!  This is ridiculous. 

I considered keeping the kids home anyway but Aaron said if school was open then they needed to go.

I checked with Caren who had already ran several errands that morning and she said the roads were fine.

"It's an accumulation of up to a foot but they have been maintaining the roads in between.  They are fine.  Are you asking me to take Gabe to band?"

"No.  I'm taking him."

I begrudgingly got my kids out on the snow packed roads.  I dropped Drew off at the bus stop to wait with Kevin (and to keep me from killing him because we had another rough morning.  That is another story and is improving as Drew and I both are getting more organized) and I drove Gabriel to school for band.

All with out incident.

Caren called me when I was at the school.

"Did you make it?"

"I made it.  I guess now I need to go on to my tap class."

And on I went.

With out incident.

After tap I went home and had lunch by the fire.  After lunch I set to work on the house.  Our bathroom is being redone and so I periodically would peek in on our contractor, Joe, to see how all was going.  My day was going much better and productively.  Soon it was time for the kids to return home.

One of the things Drew and I fought about that morning was wearing his snow gear.  He eschewed the snow pants and boots.  He only took a coat because I threw it at him as we walked out the door.  The high that day was 10.  I planned on letting him walk up from the bus stop with only his coat and wind pants but Aaron told me that was unacceptable.  So I grabbed the car keys and bundled up.

Our driveway is long and narrow but has a couple of little nooks where one could park their car.  Our contractor had tucked his truck into one such nook, truck pointed down the driveway.  As I backed out I made sure to check for his truck.  The last thing I needed was to back into it.  The new car has a feature that beeps if you are about to back into something. 

Looking out back and using the mirrors I made a careful descent down the drive.  I had cleared his truck (with out even any beeping) and began to turn my car into another nook in the driveway so that I could go the rest of the way down facing forward.  As I did I heard a loud SCRAPE!

"No," I moaned.

I stopped my car and looked out the front window.  It appeared that I was past the truck.  I got out and saw that our bumpers had hooked and my bumper was half way off!  I got back in the car and headed back up to the house. 

"Joe....I hit your truck..."

"Oh no!  I'm so sorry!"

What a guy to apologize for where he parked when I hit the car?!  Joe came out and surveyed the damage.  His bumper suffered a 2 inch crack but nothing more.  He reattached my bumper and had me check my lights and other things.  Everything seemed to be in working order. 

"What are these for?"  I asked as I handed him a pile of broken plastic.

There was scolding from the kids that they had to walk up the hill in the freezing cold and Drake got out during all of this as well.  It was just an awful night.  Joe asked the kids to be kind to me, that I had tried to pick them up but had an accident and then he took off in his truck to round up the dog.  Seriously.  A very kind man.

Aaron was not to be home for dinner as his boss was in from Canada and they were out together.  As I made dinner for the kids my anxiety grew.  I hated not telling Aaron right away about the car.  I needed to confess.  I texted Caren and Shalah:

"I got in a wreck in the new car..."

They both asked if I was OK.

"Sorry, I should've started with, I'm OK."

Caren was relieved to learn that it was not due to the snow.  She was worried that I had slid into a ditch and would never drive in the snow again.

"Was it because of the snow?"  Shalah asked.

"I wish...  I hit my contractors truck backing out of the driveway."

"Dork.  Does Aaron have his paper bag to breathe into?"

"Aaron is out with his boss."

"Wine."

"Already poured."

Later Aaron's brother texted regarding Christmas plans.

"P.S. I wrecked our new car.  I am dreading your brother's return from work...."

"Send the kids to bed early and answer the door naked.  He'll be alright."

"Not a bad plan.  Maybe I'll have a beer for him too."

And later, Shalah again:

"Well, what did Aaron say?"

"Not home yet.  On his way..."

At this point I am feeling like a little girl who has to tell her parents that she lied or did some other awful thing.  I just wanted to get this whole things over with.

"Matt suggested I greet him naked."

"He'll know you did something if you do that.  He's been married to you too long."

"True."

"I never asked, what kind of car is it?  Do you even know?"

"I do know!  Sort of...  It's a Volvo....of some kind.  An SUV."

"Damn.  A Volvo.  OK yeah...take off your clothes and start praying."

Then I heard his car pull up.  I heard him climb the stairs up to the front door.  I heard him enter and rummage around.  I knew he would soon see the broken car parts sitting out on the kitchen counter.

Time to pay the piper.

I went up stairs and found Aaron in the kitchen going through the mail. Maybe he had not seen the broken car parts.

"Hey, Babe..."

"Hey," he said as he hugged and kissed me.

Must not have seen them.

"Honey...um...I was in a bit of an accident...."

"I saw," he said and gestured to the parts.  "You OK?  Anyone hurt?"

"I'm fine.  No one was hurt."

"Was it with an inanimate object or another car?"

"Um...kind of...both?"

Silence.

"I hit Joe's truck."

"Crap."

"I didn't damage his car at all.  Well...a little...but nothing he is concerned about."

"OK.  I think I know where all of this goes.  I'll take a look at it in the morning."

That's it?

"I'm really sorry, Babe."

"I know,"  and he hugged me and sighed with disappointment.

"You're disappointed."

"Yep."

"I kind of wish you'd yell at me....I do this every time we get a new car!"

"Yep."

We shut the house up together and went to bed.  He spooned me into his arms and was soon softly snoring.

What an amazing man.  Thank you Lord for giving me such a good man!  Thank you for his grace and Yours.

My Last Baking Day

Everyday this week I had been thinking it was Wednesday.  Wednesday finally came and I thought it was Thursday.  Wednesday is, of course, Baking Day.  Feeling out of sorts, I had no intentions of tooling about with fires and kitchen utensils, but after I got there I decided to take care of my month long craving for cranberry scones.

The scones were set aside, yet again, and I made cranberry cream cheese muffins.  Quite the consolation prize!  (In fact, I am eating one now.  So good...)

As often (and I mean OFTEN) happens during baking day, someone finds that an ingredient is missing, or I forget to bring something to take things home in or just something happens that sends me back to my house.  It is not unusual for me to walk back and forth between Caren and I's homes 3-5 times a Baking Day.  I tell myself it's good exercise but it really does get exhausting.

During one of my errand home I saw one of my neighbors outside and learned that he had pneumonia.  His wife had recently had back surgery and they are an older couple.  I text Aaron the news who asked if they needed dinner.  I had already thought the same thing and grabbed a bowl of beans from the fridge and some meat from the freezer.

"I'm going to make chili beans for the neighbor.  I had started to make the beans a couple of days ago but they never finished cooking!"

"Beans take a long time to cook and at this altitude it takes even longer.  The boiling point is higher," Laurel explained.  "This is why I usually just buy canned beans."

"I do too actually but the other day I was remembering how I would come home and the whole house would smell yummy because my mom was cooking beans.  Aaron had bought a huge bag of pinto beans in case we ever got snowed in and so I decided to cook them.  I soaked them and I boiled them for about 6 hours and they are still not cooked.  Do you think I can finish them up today?"

"Oh, yeah.  That should work!"

So I set them up on the stove.  I figured in an hour or two they should be done.  I mean they had already cooked for half a day!

My muffins turned out great and everyone else's goodies were coming along magnificently.  It came time that everyone had to leave to pick up children or what not.  My beans were still not done and so I would be staying to wait them out.  Stacey's orange pound cakes had not finished baking and so she left me with instructions for attending to them.

"They just have a little bit of time left on them.  When the timer goes off, if you wouldn't mind, checking them with a toothpick.  I'll be back later to pick my stuff up," Stacey said as she headed out the door.

No problem, right?  Boiling beans and baking pound cake.  The hard part was done and now the oven and stove top would do the rest.  I occupied myself with doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen.  The beans had been boiling for about 2 hours so I spooned one out to check if it was done.  When I cut it with a fork it was crumbly.

Seriously?  Dang!

Then Stacey called:

"There should still be a little time left on those cakes," she said as I opened the oven to check on them.

"They look gorgeous!  One in the back looks a little dark....should I rotate them?"

"Yeah, if you wouldn't mind.  Also, you might cover it with foil so it does not brown any further."

I got off the phone with Stacey and set to rotating the cakes.  When I pulled the brown one out it sort of tipped.  The inside was not cooked AT ALL and the batter poured out of the top of the cake and all over Caren's oven.

"No!  No!  Crap, crap, crap!"  I cursed and fussed while I got a rubber spatula to try and scoop up what had spilled and put it back into the cake.  I then covered the ruined pound cake with foil and then tried to clean up the oven.  There was batter down in the crack of the door.  I took some paper towels and tried to wipe it out. 

"Crap!" 

All I could think of was that Stacey wanted one gluten free cake.  I was pretty sure this was the gluten free one since it was the only one turning out differently.  The one gluten free one and I spilled it.  I spilled it all over Caren's oven, who is probably ready to kick me out of her kitchen because her cookbooks, appliances and work places all bare evidence of my being there.

"Crap!"

I checked the beans again. Still not done.

I returned to clean up. 

I was cleaning one of Caren's very sharp knives with the rainbow handles (you Baking Day girls know what I'm talking about) as I went to return it to the knife block I tripped.  Luckily I did not fall to the floor.  I righted myself and laughed as I put the knife away.

Oh now wouldn't that have been the best?  I can just imagine Caren coming home to find me dead on her kitchen floor.  Which would be more disturbing...that I was dead or that her good knife was ruined?  Ha ha!  Oh I hope that if that had really happen that the girls would all laugh at my funeral! "Baking Day did her in!"

The timer went off on the pound cakes but they were still a gooey mess inside.  The beans were still not done either.  I fought tears because I seemed to be cursed in the kitchen.  I don't even have to do anything but be near the cooking food and it will be guaranteed to be foiled!  (And I don't me with aluminum.) 

No good deed goes unpunished,  I thought as I stared into the pot of boiling beans.

Caren finally got home and I got out of that kitchen as soon as I could.  She would call me when the beans were done so I could add the other ingredients and take them to our ailing neighbor.

Once home I declared to Aaron that I was done with Baking Day.

"I'll just go sit and have tea while they bake but I'm not cooking anymore!"

"Yes you are."

"Nope."

"When are y'all making tamales?"

"Next week."

*Silence and a knowing look*

"I'll make tamales and THAT will be my last week."

And there is more to tell....

When Santa Vomits

We have 12.5 inches of snow on the ground.  The earth has absorbed some of it because when I measure what is on the patio table its 19.5.  I have a love hate relationship with these conditions.  I love to be inside, by the fire with some Bailey's spiked cocoa, admiring the snowy scenery from the warm side of the window.  However, the mountain never shuts down and I have to drive my son to band and then go on to my tap class. 

I could skip both but Gabe has a concert coming up and I missed last weeks tap class due to a stomach virus.  I have the least experience in the class and can not afford to miss any.  The instructor says I'm doing great but so far I can't crack a smile.  I must appear to be very serious.  I don't know what I am.  I'm nervous and embarrassed.  I hate when I'm not good at things.  I must be a glutton for punishment though because I keep putting myself in situations where I perform lousy.  You know, like kitchens and dance schools.

I was still nervous driving this morning but I managed not to white knuckle it or cry.  I was remembering the first time I got "caught in the snow."  I was buying groceries when about 10 flurries fell from the sky.  I prayed through clenched teeth the whole way home.  Hahaha!  I guess I am a little more mountainy now then I thought.

So now that I have run all of my errands; I am "in" for the day!  There is no where I prefer to be this time of year then at home!  I think my home is just beautiful when decorated for Christmas.  Yuletide touches are in every bit of my house.  Even the bathroom has an especially cute Christmas shower curtain and some other fun accessories. 

One Christmas Past, Shalah visited. 

"Michal, your house looks beautiful....  I mean, it's like Santa threw up all over the place!"

Yea!  What a compliment! 

Here is a little tour for you:

Best seat in the house



The lounge...so to speak.



The Holiday does not begin until Auntie Cutie's mistletoe arrives!



I think books make such pretty decorations.  I have more on top of the piano.



This year I went for some live garland.  I have the faux garland my mom used when we were growing up.  I felt like it was getting a little chewed up looking.  I may have to bring it back out though because it is hard keeping live garland fresh in dry, dry Colorado!



The nativity I painted a few years ago on the basement mantle.



The scene outside makes the basement's look complete!

 I have scads more photos but I'll just leave you with this last one, my favorite!


I love peeking into my sleeping boys' room that is lit up with their own little tree!

The kitchen has Christmas towels and pot holders draped about.  Glass icicles hang above my sink and the chalk board wall fills in as a type of advent for us.  I've drawn a huge Christmas tree on it and the Little's draw an new ornament on it every day.  There are a few hints of the season in the guest room as well.  So...what do you think?  Too much?  Does it look like Santa has spewed his good cheer?

Mountain Woman Test: Driving In Snow

Whenever I wake up to a snowy morning I think of Simon and Garfunkel...."this is the sound...of silence."  I awoke to "the sound of silence" this morning; our part of the world muffled under piles of snow.

Aaron recently bought me a new car, with all wheel drive, for just such a day.  Today would be it's virgin voyage in snowy conditions.  The kids and I prepared for launch with little concern.

"Mom, can I wear 'heaters' today?"  Drew asked. 

("Heaters" are what Drew calls pants that are fresh out of the dryer.)  I threw his pants in to the dryer.

"Socks too!"  Drew called down the stairs.

I went out ahead of schedule to warm up the car and to remove snow from all of the windows.  We would be leaving with plenty of time for me to drive slow.  The snow was already about 6 inches deep and was still coming down.

I text Aaron and Caren:

"Today will be my first day to drive the new car in the snow."

"Be careful.  It's not good,"  Aaron responded.

"I'll be thinking of you," Caren texted.

"It's a Mountain Woman test..."  I sent back.

As I loaded the kids up (and was no longer early because The One Which Will Remain Nameless couldn't get his act together) I was still feeling confident and comfortable with the task before me.  I've had a lot of experience driving in snow as of late but when it's like this I have had the good fortune of hitching a ride with Caren.

Before heading out Caren called for a little pep talk.

"Call me when you've made it home," she said.

Backing out was fine.  We pulled out onto the road.  Caren's in-laws were at the bus stop with their grand-daughter.

Oh Lord, please don't let me be the one to run over Kevin's parents...and right in front of their little girl!

I put the car in Neutral and began to gently break...slide...off of break, gently break...slide...and stop. 

Whew!  Friends and family still alive!

The couple smiled and waved to me, unaware of the danger they were in.

That little bit there told me what I was in for for the rest of the way to the school.  The boys know there is no talking when Mom is driving on snow and they were near perfect.  We drove on in silence and at a snails pace.  As I turned onto the highway there was another slippy slide.  I regained control and on we went.

Besides the roads, there was an issue with my windshield wipers.  I couldn't figure out how to work them.

Why is this so difficult? 

The control was on the right instead of the left.  I could not figure out if it was turning it or flipping it that made it go.  Somehow I got them on but could not control the speed.  The insistent wonk, wonk, wonk of the blades on the dry window was making me batty.  I finally got it at a speed that was in time with the snow fall.

In front of the local saloon we had a slippy, slip, slip, slide.  With clenched teeth, I handled everything as taught. 

"Whoa!"  Drew said.

"Shh!" scolded Gabe.

By the time we got to the school, poor Gabriel was 10 minutes late for band.  I helped him gather his things and then walked Drew into school on shaky legs.  I guess my face was as white as the scenery because Drew's teacher Julia, greeted me with, "Gotta love Colorado!"

I weakly smiled.

I got Drew settled in his class and then went into the hall to discuss Christmas plans with his teacher.

"I'm trying not to cry.  I'm still a little freaked out from the drive in," I said before we began.

"Oh you should do it!" she said as she hugged me. "Let it out.  You'll feel much better.  I still cry and freak out about it.  Stay at the school for awhile if you want.  Just relax," Julia suggested but I was thinking of the snow that was still coming down.  The roads would not be any better if I waited.  I just wanted to be home by the fire with my big brave dog to comfort me!

"I think I'm going to go for it."

"Then here," she said as she handed me a container of cinnamon sugar bagel holes, "take these.  They will make the drive better.  I'm serious!  It works."

Armed with my cup of bagel holes I headed back out to my car.  As soon as I got my car running and the heat pumping I popped a bagel hole in my mouth and then called my girl, Lauren.

"Hey," she answered.

"It's Michal," I whimpered.

"I know."

"I'm in the school parking lot....sob....because I'm afraid to drive home in the snow!  I mean, it was scary enough driving up the mountain and now I have to drive down!"

*More sobbing*

"OK, it'll be OK...you got there safely..."  and I honestly can't remember everything she said because I was crying and then laughing because I felt so silly.  "Is there someone there you could call who could maybe be more informative about how to drive in those conditions?  I mean, I'd be freaking out too."

"No!" *loud sob and laugh*  "Caren is working out somewhere down the hill.  I don't even know if she is there yet.  She could be driving.  I'm sorry!  I shouldn't of called you.  I don't want to worry you.  I just needed to cry to someone!"

*More crazy crying and a bagel hole*

"Don't apologize for calling.  I'm glad you did I just feel bad that I can't give you any advice or help."

I told her about the windshield wipers.

"I'm going to read the manual before I pull out of here."

"That's a good idea.  I can't believe Aaron let you drive that car with out teaching you how first."

"I doubt he knows how to either."  With the manual in my hand I started to feel better.  "I think I'm better now."

"Good.  Will you call me when you get home?"

"Yes."

"I'll be praying for you."

"Thank you."

"OK, be safe.  I love you."

"I will.  Thanks again.  I love you too!"

I ate another bagel hole and thumbed threw the manual until I found the information on the wipers.  It's ridiculous.  This car has so many features and gadgets.  I tried to narrow it down to the important part.  The rest I will figure out later....

Low gear...how do I do that?

I read on shifting to low and also learned there is a button I can push for when I was driving in winter conditions.  I just couldn't figure out if it was just for certain times or could I keep it on the whole time with out damaging the transmission.  I opted not to use that.  Besides, it's not the car that will get me home safely but my skills. 

I know.  Scary, right?

OK God.  It's you and me.  Surround my car.  Give me wisdom.  Send your angels to protect me.

With a bagel hole and that prayer, I was off.

I tightly gripped the steering wheel, clenched my teeth and carefully headed down the mountain. 

So far so good.

In my rearview mirror I could see another car coming up behind me.  I worried about how slow I was going.

Don't worry about that, I heard Caren's voice say, It's better that you take it slow and not worry about other drivers.

I did not change my speed and I noticed the car behind me swerve a bit and then take to the slow pace that I was on.  Another car came up behind that one and we all crept on like a funeral procession.

I felt the car slide a bit as we headed down.

Go into Neutral, Caren said.

I obeyed and continued on, recalling Caren's instructions the whole way home.

I finally was on my street.

We did it! I thought to God and to that angel, Caren who was along for the whole ride with me.

Once I was parked in my driveway I sent a text to Aaron, Lauren and Caren:

"HOME!!"

"Wonderful," Lauren's text said.  "Now stay there!"

"Oh I will!  I'm the worst Mountain Woman ever!"

Thank you Lord!  Ug!  That was awful.  Thank you for keeping me safe and thank you for the support of all my friends.

The Gift Of Season's Greetings

You know the scene where Charlie Brown keeps peeking into his mailbox to see if he's received any Christmas cards yet?  That's me! 

I love Christmas cards!  I love to send them and I love to get them.  They are an essential part of my Holiday decor.  Every year I hang them up so that they frame the window in our dining room.  We've had 4 houses now and we always have had this arrangement!

After Christmas is over, I carefully collect each one.  All of the ones with photos goes into a this box:

When the Holiday rolls around again, we take out all of the decorations and this box is in among them.  I set it out on my coffee table.  We all have such a good time perusing through them and seeing how everyone has changed and grown. 

I just got back from printing out our cards.  I've armed myself with a mug of hot water, fine tip pens, address book, and am now ready to address envelopes.  I love this part too!  Oh!  I forgot to buy stamps!  I hope they have pretty ones this year...

A Winning Thanksgiving Week

As luck would have it, a demon of some sorts took root in my belly last night. I woke up multiple times to kneel before the porcelain throne. This has continued through out the day in all sorts of variations of "fun." I can't tell you how many of my friends have confessed their envy of me.  It's a perfect way to end a holiday devoted to eating.  I'm pretty sure I will have met my goal with my nutritionist next week.  Yea.

This Thanksgiving, as in last, my husband wanted to take on the preparation and roasting of a Turducken.  If you are unfamiliar with this Thanksgiving mutation I can break it down for you. It is basically a monstrosity made of turkey that is stuffed with a duck that is stuffed with a chicken.  The unfortunate part of Thanksgiving for me is that turkey is the main course.  I am not a fan of poultry.  My mother was in the Weight Watchers program while we were growing up and it seems the only meat allowed was chicken. We had chicken served to us like Forest Gump would serve up shrimp.  Oven fried chicken, Parmesan chicken, chicken pot pie, chicken-a-la-king....you get the picture.  I like turkey only a little better then chicken.  I like duck not at all.

My husband is very proud of his Turducken.  It's quite the feat for any chef.  Each bird has to be de-boned.  (According to Julia Child the correct term is "boned" but I giggled like a 13 year old boy every time we talked about boning a turkey.)  Aaron first made two different types of stuffing.  I was not allowed to even help with that part due to last years fiasco with the stuffing.  He then de-boned each bird.  The chicken was stuffed with one kind of stuffing then placed in the duck and so forth.  Everything is then stitched shut. 

Our friends, Tiffany and Bryon, were in town this year and so Bryon helped Aaron with some of the work on the Turducken.  He also prepared a fried turkey for our feast. 

But wait!  There's more!

We were all invited to Kevin and Caren's this year.  Kevin smoked a turkey and so Iron Chef: Turkey was born.

The day before Thanksgiving, Tiffany got to sample what a Baking Day at Caren's is like.  The two of us spent the whole morning at Caren's preparing everything for our meal.  Caren and Tiffany made two different stuffing's, two different cranberry relishes, mashed potatoes with various toppings (we had a potato bar), sweet potatoes, and green beans. 

I made a pumpkin cheese cake.

When the big day arrived the men presented their turkey's.  They were quite the sight! 

Turducken

Each was carved and served.  The adults all had ballots with criteria to grade the turkeys by.  It was a close race but in the end, my beloved's Turducken won.  I personally liked the fried turkey best.  It was the ugliest thing I'd ever seen but it was juicy and the crisp skin tasted like bacon.  Can't go wrong with bacon!  Note: the kids liked the smoked the best.

The other part of our Thanksgiving week was to prepare for another annual competition: The Gingerbread House Smack Down.  Last year's competition had an at-party-assembly rule.  This year had to be modified due to lack of space.  There was now the option of assembling your house at home or at the party.  Participants would only be competing with in their category.  I went the at-home route and enlisted the help of my friend, Tiffany. 

We had a great time together and found that we worked well with each other, feeding off of one another's ideas.  I would have an idea and then Tiff would either complete it or improve upon it and vice versa.  The end result was fabulous!

This year's theme was Santa's workshop:

The other at-home-assembly competitors:

The day before the party I found this super cute candy cane hat.  I thought it would be so fun to wear at the competition and so put together this little party outfit:

At the party the kids have a-go at it as well.  Caren and I bought a bunch of gingerbread haunted houses on sale after Thanksgiving.  We provided these for the kids teams as well as candy and frosting for them to work with.  The results were....interesting.  Bless their hearts, they did what they could in the 30 minutes they were given to work in.

After the kids were done the adults stepped up to the table.  The adults had one hour to work on their creations.  (Party Trade Secret: we covered the table with multiple layers of plastic table cloth.  After each round was done we simply wadded up the dirtied top cloth and the next round of players was set to go on a new clean plastic cloth!  A little Caren Genius...)  The competitors this year were more prepared then the last.  Many came with their own candies that had inspired them. 

My favorite conversation overheard that night:

Dave likes to work with fruit and antique tools..

"The icing is overflowing!"

"Well, get it!"

"I can't!  I don't have anything!"

"Just use your hands..."

"I can't!"

"Yes you can.  It's icing!  Not battery acid!"





The winning house went to Occupy North Pole:

Our other tradition for the Gingerbread House Smack Down is that the winner of the previous year is to add to the trophy so it will grow like the Stanley Cup.  I won last year's competition.  Here I am with the new improved trophy:



I also won this year's first ever at-home-assembly category and so I now have a new trophy to add on to!  Yea!

So that is how my Thanksgiving week went.  Lots of  fun with lots of friends and lots of food.  Now I am sitting here by the fire, wrapped in a Big Ugly sweater, sipping hot water and nibbling on saltines.  Just one more stomach flu away from my goal weight...





What A Difference A Year Makes...Or Not

Baking Day
November 16, 2011
Rating: Productive with a dash of the usual mishaps

We have a Newbie in our group. Another Texas transplant named Stacey. Like I once was, she was feeling sheepishly intimidated by all of the experienced bakers in the kitchen.


"Don't be," I assured her. "I screw it up all the time but things always manage to work out."

It was about this time last year that I was attempting to make a cornbread stuffing for Thanksgiving.  It seemed simple enough.  I was doubling a recipe.  Unfortunately I increased the Baking Powder (or Soda...one of those) too much.  Laurel tasted it and tried to make me think it was OK.  Caren tasted it and suggested that we scrap the whole batch and start over.

"Toss it over the deck.  The birds and squirrels will eat it."

I took the huge pan of cornbread stuffing out to the deck and cried as I sent crumbled chunks of it over the railing.

The next day that I was at Caren's I expected that the crumbs would have all been eaten by some sort of mountain critter. 

But no.

And not the next day either.

Or the next.

For nearly a week, the Cornbread Crud littered Caren's side yard and remained untouched.

"Not even the critters will eat it!"  I would wail.

Now that I have over a years worth of experience under my apron strings, one would think that I could handle myself quite well in the kitchen.  One would think...

Today I attempted to make pumpkin carrot bars from a recipe I got here.  I was doing two doubled recipes.  Everything was going great with the first batch.  There was a lot of tasting as I went and all who dipped a finger agreed that this was going to be a tasty treat!  I poured the batter onto a jelly roll pan, popped it into the oven, and began batch #2.

As I began re-reading the recipe I realized that I had not included the dry ingredients into the first batch which was already baking in the oven.  Four ingredients!  Critical.

There was a lot of good natured chuckling at what has become an expectancy.  I can't seem to make it through a Baking Day without some little dink.

"Oh Michal!  You make me feel so much better about myself!" ribbed Stacey.

So the jelly roll pan was removed from the oven and dumped back into the bowl.  I added the flour, pumpkin spice, baking powder and baking soda (basically everything that makes a cake a cake) that I had previously missed.  The jelly roll pan was cleaned, re-greased and floured, and the new batter was poured back in.

Whew!  That was a near disaster.

Back to my second batch.  This time I paid close attention to all that was called for in the recipe.

Batch 1 was finished and Batch 2 went in. 

"Something's burning," announced one of the ladies.

We peeked in the oven to see Batch 2 overflowing onto the floor of the oven.  Someone grabbed a cookie sheet and shoved it under the pumpkin bars to catch the spill over.

"Par for the course."  I remind them.

"You are handling this so well," Stacey whispered.  "I would be in tears at this point."

"Oh, I have and do!  After awhile though..."

Laurel's gorgeous buttermilk bread

I helped the ladies with their baking projects, i.e. I tasted things.  There were two varieties of cookies, frozen biscuit dough, buttermilk bread, and banana muffins.  Batch 1 had turned out pretty good.  Everyone agreed that it was a keeper!  Batch 2 finally finished.  The oven was a bit of a disaster but the pumpkin bars still looked like they would be tasty.

After cleaning the oven I sat back for a salad, fritatta and coffee with home made Bailey's.  I enjoyed my lunch and the company of my baking ladies.  Someone was discussing their own recipe and the ingredients that went into it.  Something was said about butter.

Butter!

It suddenly hit me that I did not include butter in Batch #2.

"Oh no!"  I cried.

"What?"

"I forgot the butter!"

There was another round of laughter at my expense.

"You are so entertaining!"  Stacey quipped.  That is not the first time that has been said of me at a Baking Day.  I'm always glad to do so and love to help boost anothers self-esteem.  (It turns out that Batch 2 was just as good as Batch 1, so if you want your pumpkin bars to be reduced fat, simply eliminate the butter.)

When Caren's daughter was dropped off from school, she and her friend dove into the baked goods that were spread about the kitchen table.  With in minutes of her friend leaving I received a text, "SO DELICIOUS!  Can I pretty please get the pumpkin cheese cake bread recipe?"

Validation.