Monday, September 13, 2010

What are your suggestions to turning a spoiled brat into a greatful child?

I have about had it with my youngest sons whinning and ungrateful attitude! I am beside myself. I have one child who is in a constant state of appreciation for his life and for others and another child who is only interested in himself and what he gets and how. You would never believe they were being raised under the same roof!

This morning started well. We started earlier then usual because Gabriel and I needed to see the chiropractor before school. We all had breakfast, got ready in time and headed out.

Maybe what triggered it all was that Drew was not getting an adjustment. This was Gabe's first. He injured himself a week ago on a trampoline and was still having trouble from it. Drew kept asking for a turn. I told him that if he has back trouble we will get him on the table but this time it's brother who needs adjusting and lets be glad that Drew's back feels good! The chiropractor gave them each a sucker for doing so well and we headed out to school.

After the appointment I found that we would have plenty of time to swing through Starbucks before heading to the school. I let the boys know that I was going to get some coffee but that was all. Drew wanted a whole breakfast and some hot cocoa.

"No. I told you that Starbucks is for Mommy's and Daddy's. It's not really for children. I am just getting some coffee and then you are going to school."

"But I'm hungry!" Drew continued his life's mantra.

"No you're not. You had breakfast at home and the chiropractor gave you a lollipop. You are lucky to have that. Not everyone gets to have a piece of candy at 7:30 in the morning." (Unless you are getting the new Toffe Mocha from Starbucks.)

After I made my purchase I turned to head for the door, when I hear "Excuse me sir..."

There is Drew at the counter placing his order. (Why did this place not have a drive-thru?!)

"Excuse me sir, may I please have an egg and sausage biscuit?"

I grabbed Drew's hand and told him it was time to get to school.

"Mm mm. No. I'm staying right here until I get my breakfast."

The hell you are! I thought.

I removed Drew from the store and got my sons in the car. We still were way ahead of schedule so I let the boys know that instead of being dropped off at school we were just going to go to the bus stop. This started a new drip of whines from Drew's faucet.

"I don't like school. It's boring."

"It's not to entertain you. It's to teach you."

"Well, it doesn't. It's not entertaining and it doesn't teach me anything. They say I have to do whatever they tell me to do."

"Yep. They are right. And when you get a job one day you will do what your boss tells you to do so see, they are already teaching you something important, 'How to Follow Directions.'"

"I hate the bus. It goes all over the road."

"Well, maybe you should try walking to school."

"It's too far!"


This goes on and on the whole way to the bus stop. At the bus stop Drew continued.

"I don't like it here. I'm going back to Texas."

At this point I am fed up.

"Ok. Go."


"Go on back to Texas. Call me when you make it."

"Good! Now buy me a plane ticket so I can go back."

"Nope. If you want to go back you will not go back in the luxury of a plane. Start walking buddy."

"That's crazy!"

"No. What's crazy is that you have EVERYTHING! You have a beautiful home in the freakin' mountains of CO. You go to one of the top 10 schools in the state. You have more toys then any kid could ever need. You have parents who love you and never beat you or lock you in a closet. You are well fed and you are warm and yet you are still ungrateful! THAT, my son, is CRAZY!"

He STILL found something to bitch about. I reminded him of a video I showed him of a man who had no arms and legs but he was still capable of doing all kinds of things. The real amazing thing about this man was not how he found ways to overcome his HUGE adversity but that despite being limbless he was still happy and grateful for his life. He loved life and was living it well!

"Don't remind me of that! It freaks me out." Drew said.

"Son, I know that was disturbing to see but it is not nearly as disturbing and ugly as a person who has everything in life and is still unhappy. Get your butt on that bus and have an awesome day or you will find yourself in a world of trouble when you get home."

The whole time Gabriel was there shaking his head. Everytime Drew mentioned another complaint Gabriel would smack his forhead in exasperation and disbelief! If Drew can't find anything to be thankful for he could at least have the brains to shut his mouth!

I am ready to do something drastic. But what? Pack up his toys? Give him one thing to wear for a week? Bread and water for meals? All of it? I wish there was somewhere I could take him where he could see how other children live. Any suggestions people? I am in to creative parenting so I'm very open to your advice and suggestions.

I make it a point to always point out the beauty around us and to give credit to our Father God for his artistry. I thank God out loud all the time for our life, our things, our food, our loving family. It's not hard becuase I am truly, truly thankful and I also add to my thanks that we are so undeserving of all of these blessings. Gabriel gets it. How is Drew missing it?

So, in hind sight, I should've skipped Starbucks. It was an extravagance I could certainly have done with out. On the other hand, I am not going to let my son dictate where I can and can't go.

I've tried to explain to him how I want to give him things just as Jesus wants to give us the desires of our hearts, but it has to be in the right time and place. There would not have been time to have a full on breakfast at Starbucks this morning. Maybe on the weekend we could do something like that. In the same way it will seem that God is telling us "No" to a request when really He is saying "not now."

P.S. For some reason I have lost spell check on my blogs so...forgive.

Also, I would never actually give my child only bread and water for meals. It's tongue in cheek and I hope my humorous tone translates...

1 comment:

  1. Dear one, it is not the coffee, it isn't anything you're doing. It is the fact he is having a bit of trouble with the move... new place, new friends (that are sometimes hard to make.) I found over the years that kids go through 'stages' and he is in one. I also found that often I had to take one I least desired to take) into my lap and cuddle him through whatever... And also I learned that for each act of verbal discipline at least 10 positive comments must be made. Boys will respond beautifully to 'you look so handsome today' or 'You're getting so tall'...etc, etc.
    Keep it simple and remember this will pass.