Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Living On A Prayer

I had a mild panic attack this morning. 

At first I could not figure out what it was, I just felt like I was hopped up on caffeine.  My mind was racing and trying to prioritize everything that I needed to get done for the day and that some how leaped into what I needed to get done for Christmas.

I managed to get the kids out the door with little incident.  We were waiting at the bus stop when Kevin pulled up with his daughter in the car.  The kids got on the bus and Kevin offered me a ride back up the hill.

"Thanks," I said as I got in the car.  "Kevin, I am seriously trying not to lose it."

"Why?  What's going on?"

"I just feel like I have so much to do but I can't even tell where I should start.  I need to get things ready for guests this weekend, there are after school activities every night this week, art projects need to get done...."

"And then we die," Kevin said.

"Huh.  Yeah.  You're right.  I will run around and do all of this stuff and then I'll be dead."

Once at home I went to my desk with paper and pencil.

Lord, this is not OK.  Give me peace and perspective.

I took a few deep breaths and just sat quiet for a moment.  A few more deep breaths...and then I wrote TODAY at the top of the paper.  Under that I wrote everything that I truly needed to accomplish today.  Next I wrote WEEK and wrote what needed to be done by the end of the week and this was followed by MONTH.  Looking at the list caused a little bit on anxiety to creep up again but then I remembered that I only needed to look at TODAY.

Some friends were meeting me for my walk and I had some time to kill before they came.  I focused that time on some of my chores and then cleaned the chalkboard wall.

"Thanksgiving To Do List: clean house, Be Thankful, groceries, Twilight, Be Thankful, finish art projects, laundry, after school activities, cook, Be Thankful."

(Yes, I included Twilight on my To Do list.  I gotta see that movie!)  I felt better after each golden "Be Thankful" leaf that I added. 

And that's what it's all about Charlie Brown.

Peace restored, armed with a To Do list and endorphins pumping through me from my walk, I am now ready to take on my day.  And it's 11 a.m.  Good grief!

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