A few days before 9/11 I discovered that I was pregnant with my First. It was the day before Aaron and I were to travel to Missouri to visit family and friends in various places. The day of the attacks we were in Chicago with friends. The day was horrific, sad and surreal. I remember the uncertainty I felt for the world I was bringing a child into.
Tonight, the day before my First is to turn 9, it has been announced that Osama Bin Laden is dead. So unfortunate was it that I had to hear the news from freaking Geraldo Rivera. He lucked into the breaking news during his show. Fox News totally scooped the story a good 5 min. ahead of CNN. Geraldo was giddy and high fiving his co-anchor.
I would like to assume that his giddiness was due to his personal luck to be the one to make this HUGE announcement. I really hope it was that and not that he was applauding the death of another human being.
As a mother, I know how ferocious the desire for justice can be, especially in regards to my children. It's kind of scary how fast rage can ignite on their behalf. I was pissed when the towers fell. Scared when the Pentagon burned and so, so proud of the passengers of the flight that was brought down in the middle of a field, saving other lives. Very likely the life of our President. I am happy for the peace and closure this news brings but I am not excited in the least.
This is sad because a soul is lost. Permanently. And it is scary because there will very likely be retaliation.
I have recently been pondering the empathy of God. A dear friend recently lost her father. She happened to be in my kitchen when her mother called and told her. I never met her father, though I've heard scads of stories. Regardless, there has been a gaping whole in my heart ever since. I have a very physical ache for my friend.
I was reminded of Psalm 56:8 saying that God is aware of our hurts and collects our tears. He mourns with us. But just as He is counting my friends tears He is rejoicing in the arrival of her father into His Kingdom!
After the news tonight there were a lot of Facebook posts regarding it. There were even retaliating scripture verses of God's vengeance and justice vs His mercy and empathy. Guess what? Both are right! God is so much bigger than anything we can fathom! He is not just black and white! He explodes from between the covers of the Bible! He is beyond anything we can imagine. And if I, a mere pion human can have multiple feelings of both justice, relief, sadness and pity how much more...how much MORE does our Savior?!!
I cried through all of the broadcasting. I cried at the memory of 9/11 and for the families of the victims. I cried at thought of people cheering when I died. I cried for the loss of a soul. I cried fearfully for what is to come.
Lord Jesus give me peace. Protect our country. Give our President wisdom. Cover us all with Your Grace, Mercy and Love.
"Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles." ~Proverbs 24:17
(Thanks Anna for posting that verse and thanks to King Solomon. He wrote that, right?)