Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Out Of The Mouth's of Babes

My kids make me absolutely batty but they also keep Aaron and I in stitches all the time!  Here are some recent funnies:

Drew wrote a commercial for his economics fair project at school where he is selling mini-donuts:

Are you tired of your plain donuts being too big for your children and they start feeling sick?  Are they too crumbly?  Well not any more!  Come on down to Drew's Mini Holes!  When you buy mini donuts it's small enough for your children, are not crumbly, and your children will not feel sick any more!  So come on down to Drew's Mini Holes!

Here is a paper Gabriel wrote on whether or not you would like to have a sibling. I was so touched that he chose that it was better to have a sibling then to not....:

I would like having a big brother or sister and I like having a younger brother or sister too.  I would like to explain why.  First, with brothers and sisters you have someone to annoy, you can pick on them too.  But only when there's nothing else to do.  Next, it's kind of better if you have one that's younger than you because they get in trouble more often so you sometimes seem like an obedient kid.  You can play with them if you can't got to a super cool marvelous friend's house.  When you are grounded from TV and anything else with a screen, you can start playing with them.  They can be fun or boring.  You find out.  Then at dinner time your brother or sister might make a bigger mess than your mess, making people think that you're cleaner by comparison.  It is the same when they have a messier room then you.  I am sure that at least one or more than one of these things I say are true.  I know because I have a little brother.  Finally, I can end this paragraph!  (I was running out of sentences.)  Do you think brothers and sisters are awesome?

I like how he will only play with his brother as a last resort...

Conversation overheard in the car:

Drew: Brother, when I grow up, if I decide to have a seafood restaurant, I'm going to name it The Salty Batoon.

Gabriel: What's a batoon?

Drew:  I don't know.  I heard it on Star Wars. "General Kreel, assemble the batoon!"

Gabriel: Ha ha!  You mean PLAtoon.

Drew:  Oh well.  I think Salty Batoon sounds better.

Conversation I had with Gabriel who is considering auditioning for a role in Camelot:

Me:  Gabriel, I was looking at the description for the role and it's a little boy who wants to be a Knight of the Round Table.

Gabriel:  Cool.

Me:  It is cool!  I think it sounds like a perfect role for you.  I bet that if you lived in the Renaissance times you would have wanted to be a knight.

Gabriel:  Well...I think I would've been interested but...and no offense...I would've been more interested in being a samurai.

Me:  Yes, but you'd have to be Japanese.

Gabriel: I think they would make an exception for me.

Me: Indeed.

Incident at Gabe's band concert last night:

Drew was so stinkin' excited to hear Gabriel play.  Once we got there he became more excited as he saw friends from school filing in.

"OH!  Hey!  Madeline!  Over here!  It's me, Drew!"  he shouted while waving his hands around.  "My big brother is going to perform tonight!  He plays the trumpet!  What?  What?  I can't hear you!  Hey Lily!  It's me Drew!  My brother is playing the trumpet tonight!  You're what?  What?  You're too far away!  Oh my gosh!  Jack!  Hey Jack!..." 

You get the picture.

The lady in front of us turned to Drew and asked if he'd ever seen Goonies before.


"You should see it.  You remind me of one of the characters in that movie!"


In the car after the concert (p.s.  Gabe was so proud of his performance he pumped his trumpet in the air in the final applause):

Drew: Brother, you were awesome.

Gabriel: Thanks.

Aaron:  What is that smell?

Me:  I thought it was you.

Aaron:  I thought it was you!

Drew: *giggle, giggle, giggle*  It was me!  I farted!  *peals of laughter*  And I farted in the concert too! *cracking up*  I farted lots of times!

The whole family was in tears with laughter.  Aaron rolled down the window.

Drew:  Dad!  It's freezing!  Put the window up!

Gabriel: Would you rather face the cold or Drew's farts?

Aaron and I:  The cold!

And finally, while watching a bit of snow start to fall this morning:

Drew:  This looks like the works of Jack Frost!

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