Monday, August 9, 2010

Spoil the Child?

Did you know that the three most stressful things you can experience in life are surviving the death of a loved one, divorce and moving? This makes sense seeing as how all three involve great loss. (Note that most divorce's tend to bring a move with it. OUCH!)

So for the most part this move has gone quite swimmingly for me and my family. First of all we have been moved to a beautiful (and I cannot stress that enough) location. The weather rocks. I'm even a little chilly in the a.m. Whatever the weather man tells you the temperature in Denver is, we are always about 10-15 degrees cooler.

Besides a drop in temperature and a raise in elevation, the move also brought a monetary raise. Always good. We have already met fabulous people. We have been fortunate enough to find a fabulous home and to be able to afford refurnishing it. (Most of our stuff came but there is a whole living area that we did not have before in the basement.)

So it's very hard for me to complain when things are so good. I have some close friends who understood and unjudgingly allowed me to unload my frustrations about only having my husband home on the weekends for two months, the relocation company dragging it's feet, and the ugly little details of relocating that are "hard." (Bless you ladies as you know well who you are! You of course know I my ear/shoulder is all yours!!)

Now my family is under one lovely roof and it is very, very good and I am very, very grateful. is still hard.

I miss my sweet friends. Our home, though lovely, is older and has a lot of quirks that we need to work out. So Aaron has quite the Honey Do List. And buying furniture is fun but I still have a hard time spending large amounts. Repeatedly. It's very uncomfortable for Aaron and I both. I also am constantly thinking of my family and friends and how they will fit here when they visit/vacation. It is definitely our home (no doubt) but I so want this to be a place where everyone can be comfortable and a place that everyone can enjoy!

The kid's school is very cool. It's small and will be an adjustment for the boys. It offers so much! I am excited about that. There is a glitch in Gabriel's placement. He was a GT student in Texas and here the requirements are different. It's not that he won't be in the program, it's that they need more information which means more testing. The testing won't be done until October and the results won't be in until January. GT is the only thing about school that Gabriel enjoys. I'm worried that he will have so much more to adjust to because of this.

Our furniture and belongings did not arrive until 4 days after we moved and so the boys were sleeping in sleeping bags and Aaron and I were sleeping on air mattresses. I only packed sheets and so I was very cold at night. Now we are in the guest bed but I have noticed every a.m. that my teeth hurt from clenching my teeth at night. I'm not getting good sleep. Right now there is a fox screeching/yelling. They make a terrible sound like a banshee. So, I think with the lack of sleep, the loss of my support team, the new dangers to be on alert for (bears, mountain lions, damn noisy foxes) the news that Gabe would not transfer into the GT program just broke me. I cried all morning. Well, really it started yesterday when I realized my sister-in-law would soon be returning from Kuwait to her amazing little family.

I cried because I could not be there to meet her. I cried thinking of the intimate reunion that was coming to them. I cried while picking out something to send to her home to greet her. I cried because I miss her so much.

Today I just cried about the darn school thing. It's so small and I know, I know there are much bigger problems that people have. My friends tell me that I need to stop acting like my problems are insignificant. That's hard to do.

I'm not fighting in a war overseas while my husband and two year old daughter are far away from me. I'm not lifting myself up out of the rubble left by an explosive divorce finding myself a single mother. Not only am I not homeless but have two homes. Two amazing homes. But regardless I cried because my healthy, brilliant son would not get to transfer into the GT program.

Father God, forgive me. I would like to chalk this one up to the stress of moving. I am extremely grateful for the blessings You have given us and am constantly baffled as to why You would favor us in any way. You are a mystery to me. Thank You and be with my family as we adjust. Help me to live in a way that is honoring to You. Forgive me for being such a spoiled brat...though I might add, it seems to be Your fault. I mean seriously, God. Amen.

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