The " Pillar of Positives" has come down. It made me uncomfortable looking at a list of my fabulousness from the inside-out, all over my kitchen wall. Part of it was from having a hard time believing all of it but the other was that it was in the hub of my home and anyone who walked in was going to see it. I considered moving the list to a post it in the bathroom but we don't have a Master Bath and so it would again be in a place that is well trafficked. The other reason I had originally put it in the kitchen (besides the fact that the chalk board wall made it easy) was that I thought it would remind me to make good choices, with it being where I would be making and choosing foods. It did but...it just felt weird so I erased it all.
I have been trying hard to record my meals. The first week I did meet my goal of 5 a week but this past week I have not been so diligent. I've still been very conscious and aware of what was going in and the working out has not slowed down. I do best when I have someone to work out with and Caren is usually a willing participant but due to injuries and then a sick child she had been unavailable most of the week.
One day she set up a circuit training in her basement. I went over and we worked out together using knowledge she had learned from her trainer. I grunted and sweat while her sweet little daughter sat on the couch watching on.
"Oh! Don't you just feel wonderful now?!" Caren exhorted after our work out.
But I didn't. I found that I would be grumpy and sort of mad after my work outs. I think I am mad that I have to do it because of this silly pre-diabetes thing. Apparently that's what it's called. I've suddenly been seeing it everywhere, in Fitness Magazine, on Spark People. Spark People had an 8 week challenge posted for people with diabetes or pre-diabetes. I clicked on the link to view the challenge. I looked at it but didn't read it and then closed it out.
That's not wise. You have a tool that could amp up your weight loss and get you to your goal and you are ignoring it! I also have a nutritionist, I argued with myself, and I'll just follow her advice, I justified.
Evita rehearsals were in the evenings and on the evening I had off there was Back to School night. I felt so tired this week. My body was just exhausted. If I'm not working out, I'm at a rehearsal or baking, or cleaning or at a meeting. I just wanted to stop and rest but when the opportunity was there I didn't know what to do with myself. I'd grab my music instead and work on it. Another time I started an art project. It's like when I was little and I'd spin and spin in the living room and then when I stopped it felt like I was still in motion. I'd start to get dizzy. Then a little sick. The only way to make it stop was to start spinning again. I knew what I needed was to rest but laying down for a nap my mind kept racing on.
It'll all calm down after the show. I thought to myself while laying on the couch trying to nap. Of course after the show the Holidays begin....
I tried to rest on Thursday. Caren was stir crazy from being cooped up at home with her sick little nugget. She offered to get groceries if I would keep her daughter. This seemed to be a fair trade! She dropped her off and as she was leaving my kitchen she stopped at the chalk board wall.
"What's this?" she asked while gesturing to the empty wall.
"I had to erase it. It was too weird."
And to her daughter she said, "Write some positive and nice things about Ms. Michal on the wall."
I gave her the colored chalk and told her she did not have to write about me but could draw whatever she wanted and then sat on the couch and tried to read.
I had mild success at baking day this week in some double chocolate brownies. I had hoped for something moist and chewy and instead ended up with anything but that. Still they must've been tasty enough because the Evita cast inhaled them. Another cast member brought me a bucket of blackberries from her garden to bake something up with.
Friday my plan was to hike, bake and rest. Thursday however I noticed that Drew had a loss of appetite (a sure sign "the boy ain't right.") He had been stuffy nosed (as had I) so I gave him some allergy medicine. That night he slept poorly, crying out in his sleep. I got him up and found that he was so stuffed up he could hardly breathe. I helped him blew his nose. He screamed and fought me like I was shoving sticks up his nose while I tried to get him to blast out some snot. I tried to be sympathetic to the fact that he was tired and was now standing upright in the bathroom instead of down in his warm bed but seriously: We're blowing a nose. It's not that big of a deal. I finally got him cleaned out and I tucked him back into bed with extra pillows to sort of keep him a little upright. He slept.
In the a.m. he was a bit of a bear and still had no interest in breakfast. Not even toast. I checked for a fever. None. I gave him more allergy meds, sent him to school and planned to call the doctor as soon as they opened. We've had enough sinus infections to know one when it arrives.
My hike was lovely! I took a trail I've been wanting to learn because I would really like to take guests there. There are huge boulders for climbing and I think it would be fun. Plus the climbing gives a little variety to the work out. I still noticed that I was a grump after the work out. Where are those endorphins? I need to change my thinking from "I have to work out" to "I GET to work out." I can afford the time, I have gorgeous places to exercise at, friends who are supporting me and the good health to do it with.
On the way home I called the doctors office and made an appointment for Drew in the afternoon. Caren then called and invited my hiking partner and I over for coffee/tea. We had our tea and then Caren made us an amazing lunch with a Mediterranean theme! There was some sort of Mediterranean Chicken Pot Pie that had chicken, fruit and a bouquet of spices arranged to my pallets delight! This was served with a salad of zucchini slices that had been marinated in something...I think I tasted lime and cilantro. Dessert was a Peach Soup. We decided the soup was basically a smoothie and wouldn't it be devine with a little champagne mixed in? Caren's house is my favorite restaurant.
I wanted to bake the blackberry dish using one of Caren's recipes for blackberry bars. She convinced me to do it at her house so the fun would not end. I walked home and gathered up my ingredients and then returned to Caren's. The recipe includes a lemon cream filling. This is made with sweetened condensed milk. I love this stuff! I scraped it all out of the can with a spatula and when I got as much as I could out of the can and into the bowl I licked every drop off of the spatula. It was de-lish! I felt a little naughty but quickly gave myself permission. Nothing is off limits. I licked a spatula, not drank a can of it. I then whisked in an egg yolk, lemon juice and zest. Not being able to resist; I licked the whisk clean too. (Not as satisfying since a whisk has very little surface area... : /) The bars were in and out of the oven at the exact time I needed to leave to pick up Drew. I left it at Caren's to cool (the directions said for an hour.)
I thought Drew would be thrilled to be getting out of school early but instead I had a very Grumpy Monkey on my hands.
"MOM! You should've come for me during Specials. Now I'm missing out on my second Friday Funday!"
Friday Funday is a reward for being good all week. I think it's like an extra recess, "And sometimes," Drew went on, "there are doughnuts!"
"I'm sorry bud. I'm sure there will be more of those for you but this is when the doctor can see you and we want to get you well so you can enjoy the long weekend!" I tried to sound chipper, being understanding of the fact that he got little to no sleep last night and was not feeling very good. Drew continued to badger me on the way to the doctor.
"How far is this place?" he demanded to know.
"We'll be there in ten minutes."
"How long is ten minutes?"
Once there he kindly greeted the staff and was equally a gentlemen to the nurse who let him use the stethoscope. We were shown into an exam room. Drew climbed on to the examining bed and began to beat a rhythm on it with his fists.
"Hey Buddy, let's not do that OK? It's really loud."
Taking a little more of the "nice" out of my tone I made the request again, "Drew. I asked you not to do that son."
Drew defiantly looked right at me and began a new drum solo on the exam bed. Just as I felt my patience rush out of me, the doctor walked in. Drew's luck. While she examined him Dew kept looking at me.
"Mom? Are you growing a mustache?" he asked.
"No," I said through clenched lips. "My skin there is discolored." Grrr....
So I have discoloration, a darkening, on my skin. It is apparently very typical in darker skin toned people. It is also due to being older. I have other friends who have this as well but they have been blessed with a rather adorable spot on the cheek just near the corner of their eye or something of the like. Not for me. As it would be my dark spots are on my upper lip. I have to cover it with heavy duty sunscreen to keep it from getting darker and I usually have make up on over it. This day that was not the case.
Gasp. I went to the doctor's office with no make up. Every self respecting southerner would not dare to make such a faux pas but can I tell you the doctor was not wearing any herself?
Anywhoo, after discovering that Drew did in fact have a sinus infection and an ear infection we left to go and fill prescriptions. Drew opened the door bidding adieu to all.
"Hey Bug," I said while fumbling to get my keys out of my purse, "You want to be a gentlemen and hold the door for Mommy?"
The door shut in my face.
I gave him a lecture on manners and how they do not go out the window just because you don't feel well. I called Aaron on the way to the store and learned he was at a very nearby gas station. We decided to swap. I would give him Drew and then would be able to wait at the pharmacy with out him.
I gave the prescription to the pharmacist who informed me that it would be ready in 20 minutes. What to do but shop? I turned around to be confronted with my greatest nemesis: a display of Tostito Lime Chips. With zero to no resistance I grabbed a bag.
I'll portion them out. No you won't, you are tired and frustrated and you will eat the whole bag. Quiet you.
I grabbed a few other groceries that we might need on this long holiday weekend: Brats, hot dogs, Klondike bars, smore ingredients. As I did I knew it was sabotage. I knew it was unwise but I continued to justify every purchase. Once home, I planned to put the chips in the pantry right away and save them for when we would grill the Brats. Aaron saw them in the grocery bag and opened them immediately. Several hands dove into the bag as they are a family favorite. My hands included!
"How was Drew? He was such a turd for me."
"Really? He's been in a great mood for me!" Aaron smiled.
I grabbed another chip.
"Fabulous. His malice must be just for me."
I ran over to Caren's to grab the blackberry bars. Just as I walked up to her door her husband pulled up.
He is probably thinking, Oh geez, is Michal ever NOT at my house?
When I walked in it was completely quiet. Caren's girls had all gone to various friends homes, sans the one on the mend who was down stairs watching TV. I quickly gathered up my stuff and left, knowing how precious these quiet moments alone with your husband can be.
For dinner we had leftover Italian Beef sandwiches (the recipe is under my recipe tab. Check it out because it is easy and AMAZING!) I added some steamed vegetables to the side to try and right all the wrong with the chips. Note: at this point the bag was now half empty. Also note that the whole family helped with that. After eating too much dinner the guys all retired to the basement to watch Guy T.V. (this is what I call the shows they watch. Basically stuff I am uninterested in) and I sat on the couch upstairs. I looked out the window. There was thunder and lightning and then a down pour of rain. I poured myself a glass of wine.
A perfect night to stay in and drink some wine, I sighed.
Just then my phone rang.
"Hey!" It was Caren. "I've been trying not to call you guys for the last two hours! Kevin and I were playing Risk and we kept thinking how much more fun it would be with you guys. We figured Aaron would love a little world domination."
"We are on our way!"
Due to the storm we drove over.
"Does Ms. Caren have a disease or something?" Drew asked.
"Yes, it's called McDowell-itis," I told him. "It's when you can't get enough of the McDowell family."
Just as I was thinking that Kevin and Caren had to have had enough Michal in their faces, they call us over! Yes! Resistance is futile!