Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Words, delicious words! I think I will eat them.

Buzzzzzzin' on caffeine! I am really not supposed to have it because I just don't drink it enough. I suppose it says something that I can handle my booze better then my coffee. :)

So my morning started with a very dear friend telling me that she wrote about me in her daily devotional that she sends out to some ladies in her church aerobics class. Basically she heard my son whining to me about things not being fair. She thought that I would respond in some way and then find a way to make the situation fair but instead I said (say it with me) "life's not fair." Then she was surprised with what I followed that up with which is "and God is not fair. It was not fair that God required Jesus to die for our sins but He did and Jesus did not hang there crying and saying NO FAIR!" This is something I've told my boys before. (Harsh? Maybe but true and truth is often harsh. Better my son hear and learn these things now from his loving mamma then by the brutal hand of Life.)

I felt like the wise sage of all mothers!! Then her devotional went on to talk about the sin of comparison. She mentioned something about comparing our financial situations to others, our clothes, our bodies.... And I was knocked off my high horse. Damn. I'm not so hot to trot after all.

I have a really bad, bad problem with my body image. My friends say it's a distorted image and part of me knows that but mostly I just want to be thin!!! I want to be taller and have smaller boobs and be about 15 lbs. lighter. I fight with this ALL the time. Oh, and I want a different nose. :P

I recently spent some time with a friend of mine who is going through a very stressful place in life. Because of the stress she has lost her appetite (God smite me with it!) She has lost so much weight that when I first saw her I thought she looked like she was ill. But the more time I spent with her the more I started thinking...she is still super beautiful and she can wear anything...look how flat her stomach is and her arms don't have that camel hump in them that mine gets. HOW MESSED UP IS THAT?! The woman is so skinny that her thong is baggy and I am wishing to be that thin!! (Sorry sweet dear friend! But you know this!) Bless her heart, she is really trying hard to gain weight. (Again God, can I just get that problem for once in my life?!!)

All that to say: screwed up body image + friend's devotional on comparison = God holding up a mirror to the heart and saying "see? See that? Let's fix that!" When I (unrealistically) compare my body to others it is like I am crying "no fair!" Like a freakin' toddler.

Boo! I hate when God does that. All the freakin' time serving my words up to me on a silver platter. They are like vegetables. So good for you but I would really rather not eat them. Though if you slather your veggies in melted cheese...


  1. ummm careful with the Jesus did not say unfair. Why has thou forsaken me is pretty close. What will you do when your kids spout that at you? In Aramaic? God gets "unfair!" a lot, and he can take it.

    And Aaron (and God and a long list of other important people) adores you so I'm just being redundant saying you are pretty smokin. Umm smaller boobs? Let's quit with the crazy talk!

  2. (I thought I commented. Here I go again.) You may be right about the "why has thou forsaken me." I did wonder about that... But the real point was that God is not fair and Christ endured the most unfair thing thinkable. I think my little turd can endure not getting whatever it is his brother was getting.

    And thanks for the compliment. :)