"Thank you for auditioning. We will call you with our decisions by Friday."
I was fine on Thursday. I imagined how I would respond if they said I got the part and then how I would respond if I did not. I was good all day Friday until about 4 p.m. Then it suddenly hit me that the day was almost over. I had felt really good about my audition. I was proud of the work I did and how well I performed. Felt confident. When 4 o'clock hit all of my confidence moved out to make way for doubt. I tried to busy myself with pulling weeds, dishes, laundry, reading... Texts started coming in asking if I'd heard back yet. Aaron got home from work and it was 5:30.
Not looking good.
I poured myself a glass of Bordeaux.
"They haven't called yet, Babe."
"Well, they have not been quick about anything. Remember everything is slower here."
He is right. Mountain Time is not just a time zone and they have been slow to get materials and info to us this whole time so I chalked the tardiness up to that.
"Any news?" Caren texted.
"Not yet. A glass of wine is due tonight whatever the answer."
"Yes. I'm ready."
I grabbed my glass and the bottle and walked over to Caren's. As I trudged up the hill my phone rang and my heart stopped.
It was my mom.
"Haven't heard anything," I answered.
Once at Caren's her daughters immediately asked if I'd heard anything and exclaimed how they are sure the directors would not let such talent go to waste. These girls are the sweetest ever. They can't see any reason why I can't be a famous artist or singer.
"You are the best singer in the world!" One said.
"Yeah. You should audition for The Voice," suggested her oldest.
And then my phone rang again...
"Hey Babe," Aaron said.
"The director called. She wants you to call her back. Got a pen?"
FINALLY!!! It was about 7 p.m. I was certain I was not going to get a call at that point. Caren and the girls wanted me to call her with them in the kitchen but I had to leave to the deck.
The conversation went like this:
"First we want to thank you for auditioning for us..."
Didn't get it.
"We really enjoyed your reading and your singing is just lovely."
"We would like to ask you..."
"...if you would be interested..."
"...in being in the dance ensemble?"
A burst of laughter escaped me. "Really? Me?" I laughed again, "I'm sorry that sounded bad it's just that...I'm a terrible dancer." I had considered getting the part or not but I never considered being offered a part in the dance ensemble. Ha!
"Well first let me just tell you that we really did enjoy your audition. When you sang I nearly cried. I told John I could listen to you sing all day."
"And I'm not just polishing your silver. You really have a beautiful voice. Anyone can be trained to hit a note but not everyone has a nice voice and yours is...there was a woman who auditioned before you who had all kinds of training at a music college in Manhattan. Her voice gave me the chills! When she left, the room stayed cold. When you sang the whole place was warmed up. You sing with emotion and your audience feels it."
"I really think we will have a role for you in something else because we would really like to utilize your voice and acting ability."
"Thank you. I would love that. I'm just...this is funny to me. I would love to learn to dance..."
"The choreographer said she liked how you moved..." (Another burst of laughter escaped as a vision of me crying with frustration in Zumba classes flashed before me.) "...and she liked your look. She wants to work with you and is very nice."
"Oh she is! I liked her immediately and she really made the audition fun. Like I said, I would really like to learn and I think this would be good experience that I could add to my resume. I'll do it."
"Oh you will! Thank you!" she practically squealed.
I stayed out on the deck a bit to process what had just happened.
They don't want me to sing at all? Did they really like it or was she "polishing my silver" as she said? They want me to dance. Must've been slim pickins...
I went back into Caren's kitchen and told the girls. I felt mixed with excitement for a new opportunity and sad for the opportunity I lost. I'm sure I seemed mildly insane as I flopped back and forth between laughter and tears.
"It's OK," Caren said, "You can cry."
We moved on to other conversations with her family. Periodically my face would twist into a question mark as I tried to figure out how this happened.
At home Aaron congratulated me. It was the happiest I'd seen him since going through this process. Bless his heart, he wants me to have the chance to perform and do what I love but there is a thread of jealousy and resentment through it all. I can totally relate to that. Felt that way everytime he would travel and call about the amazing steak house he ate at or the golf course he played on.
I was still feeling bewildered and jumbled emotionally as to how I felt about the dance ensemble offer.
"This is God's doing," I said to Aaron. "He thinks He's so funny. 'Well...you wanted to be on Dancing With The Stars so here is your chance.'"
"That's exactly what it is!" Aaron laughed.
I punched him.
We tucked the kids into bed and then went to bed ourselves. We got into our tangled version of The Spoon. I kept my head pressed against his back, needing something solid to rest on since the inside was going every which way, but then his back started to quake. His whole body was then in spasms. I recoiled when I realized he was laughing.
I punched him.
"Stop. You are making fun of me!"
He finally laughed out, "You're in The Mountain People Dance Troupe!"
"Shut up!" I laughed and punched him again.
We were both racked with laughter, tears rolling down our faces.
"God thinks He's so funny."
"Oh He is!" Aaron chortled.
"Well, I'm going to show Him!"
"Ha! Be careful woman."
"I am. He has put me in a place to dance and I'm going to. And I'm going to be good!"
This really got Aaron's laughter rolling.
From across the hall the boys called out, "What's so funny?"
"Nothing!" Aaron and I said together and we laughed harder.
"Why are you laughing? Did mom get the part?" We could not stop the laughing. We were roaring now.
"No..." I snorted.
"What?! I'm going down there tomorrow to knock some heads." Gabe said.
"No need for that Gabriel," Aaron said through gasps of laughter. "Your mom did get a part."
"What is it?" the boys asked in unison.
"She's in the...the...She's in the Mountain People Dance Troupe! Bwahahaha!"
I punched him again. The boys were laughing in their beds across the hall and we laughed ourselves exhausted.
I have no idea why I did not get the part. Maybe when I get to know them better I can ask. Aaron thinks they were just not going to give the lead to someone they don't know. Could be. Could be there was someone much better. Could be they had a couple of options for Eva but not enough options for dancers. I know they have plenty for the chorale....
The lyrics to Evita's Rainbow Tour kept running through my head.
"Let's hear it for the Rainbow Tour.
It's been an incredible success.
We weren't quite sure...
we had a few doubts.
Would Evita come through?
The answer is yes.
I am looking forward to it though. I have always wanted to learn to dance so now is the time. It's my Dancing With The Stars moment.
"And now, performing the Argentine Tango, is Michal McDowell..."