I've been doing a Beth Moore Bible study through our church. It's called "The Inheritance."
Beth Moore. This woman is truly gifted and called since she can speak to so many different kinds of women (inclduing women like me who can sometimes find wading through all of her "sugar babies and honey bunches" a bit much) and the message she offers always gets delivered.
So in the session today she was talking about how God gives us things or will promise us things but then we have to go and take it. We have to do our part too. She referred to the Israelites being afraid to go into the land God promised them and that, like wise, we will have to press through our fear to possess our promises.
Ug! Why would we need to do that? Well, look at anyone who shot to success quickly and then fell out of it almost as quickly. When we do not earn our rewards we do not have the muscle to hold on to it. (I really hate weight lifting.)
So there has been this thing in my life that I am afraid to do. No, it's not my great fear of dancing but now that I think of it I may need to examine that as well... I have been feeling a tug on my heart to be apart of this foster care ministry called Little Footprints. I have been feeling it for about 2 years now. (Good grief, Michal!) The program focuses on rescuing homeless babies. When I first learned about it I went, fearfully, to get more information on it. I did not even tell Aaron. I wanted to get all of the facts before I told him about it.
The thing is we are done having kids. I mean, physically it can't happen, but even before I lost that option we had decided we were done. The boys are "potty trained" (and I use that loosely because they are boys. Ew.) and they are old enough to stay over night with family and friends. They sleep through the night, can dress themselves...we have so much more freedom now! So I find it odd that I would feel a desire to help care for a baby and I mean a baby quite possibly with problems and that will only be with us temporarily.
There have been classes for training to foster that are always scheduled when we are out of town. I have had a friend adopt through the program and neither of us knew that the other had connections to it. Now another friend has just gotten a job with Little Footprints...again neither of us knowing that the other is interested in the ministry. It just keeps popping up in my life.
I decided that maybe what I need to do is help out with their homeless ministry out on Montrose but every time I have tried to get details about who, what, when, where...I just can't get answers.
There is a part of me that feels that this is a sign that I should not be involved. It's not the place for you. But I also have that fear...and fear is not from God. Usually, when I feel afraid to do something it's because God wants me to do it and the fear is keeping me from it. Someone told me that because I don't feel a peace about it that it's a sign that I should not do it but there are numerous people in the Bible that were afraid when God asked them to do something. In fact I can't think of one that wasn't!
So in this Inheritance study Beth Moore says, sometimes you just have to do things even while you are scared. You need to go do it scared. Press though your fear and take the promise. Well, how do I really know this is my "promise" or purpose? Beth said "Our promise is where we serve at fruit bearing effectiveness." Hm...
I'm not saying that I'm a great mom. I yell at my kids all of the time. I cry because they won't stop crying. I spend a good deal of time trying to get away from them but the fruit of it all is in my kids. They are awesome! Maybe it's just that mixing a little bit of Aaron's personality with a little bit of mine makes something great OR maybe we are actually good at parenting. (both?) Maybe you don't have to really love doing it all of the time to be good at it.
I know they serve the homeless out on Montrose every Wed. night. I suppose I could just drive out there and cruise up and down Montrose until I find them... That's a scary thought.